What to do

This column was originally intended to persuade the middle class of the opportunity of superior superiority a kind of kinky convenience. Akin more closely to shrocks rather than clocks with tiny hands. Sure enough the discussion foamed at the mouth and made remarks like I got something to tell you about something to tell you about. Two inches inserted into the keypad will make the door pop up and your food I assure you is safe as can be from bears and those damn coons. I think it would be strongly advised to create a protocol on your email polocies so this kind of thing doesn't happen again and if it does we can take burrito out of the microwave.

New Genre

Guitar Center Popol Vuh

BLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOG of typographic diversity

Lost Items volumes 7 and/or 8

Lost Items are now so lost that we forget what we even lost to begin with.

What's New in La La Land...

-New and improved school system

-Now 80% infused with 'La'

-Mascot Pigs promoting BBQ [pictured]

-Superior internet connections

-Sweet Tea

-Your favorite TV shows

for once i am writing about me, and i am terrified

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From The Badlands: New Outsider Weirdness

There really is quite a large grimy film covering all of the underground known only as 'noise'. Hundreds if not thousands of youngins' practice this continuation of Punk, some blend it with Avant Garde pretension while others just want to fuck people's ears up. But what's this? Has the scene become so Post Modern that it has finally arrived at appropriating popular youth TV show content from their generation instead of using Lisa Frank iconography?

SC-R-EE-CH! is doing just that, they hail from rural Montana near Billings and often frequent the Badlands to take in the desolate visuals as fodder for their unique blend of quiet then loud, controlled then chaotic droned out noise. The group members are only known as Dust and Diamond [a bit obsessive it seems] and the third member really is just a piece of equipment, which is none other than a primitive wheel based drum machine, probably similar in design to the drum machines found in old Hammond organs. The back cover actually shows the device and "Einstein" is hastily scrawled on the side of the machine. Which if anybody knows their Saved by the Bell trivia like I do is the name of Screech's robot on the show. With this much Screech-based content you would think that this is the first Dustin "I can't let the past go" Diamond seven inch ever. But despite how interesting that would be it would most likely be some Nu Metal slop with phyrgian undertones judging by the goatee and asshole personality he apparently is sporting these days.

But on to the record, a killer seven inch from what seems to be self released by the group under their NuM NuM label which features a crudely drawn steamy burrito in the logo. As far as tracks though there is only two on this 331/3 single. Side A is titled, you guessed it, "Turtle Soup", which is reminiscent of a little known Italian band/ensemble known as MEV minus all the woodwind squawking and immense background noise. I can only describe this piece as so blown out and loud it sounds like two hundred cats are making this and not just two guys with a drum machine named Einstein. Even the drum machine, the pulse of this experiment is sent into chaos as the song just breaks down into an absolute mess of sound. I can really only comment on the timbres and treatment to electronics on this one because despite all of the apparent chaos these two Montana weirdos practice a delicate waltz with their equipment and are so attunted to the detail of a single tone that composition is either consciously removed or just discarded like another piece of trash in the Badlands.

The B-side is a little easier on the ears and represents more of the aesthetic they actually pursue which as mentioned earlier is delicate treatment of their sounds and an almost Zen-like [*gulp] attention to detail. Oddly enough the title has absolutely nothing to do with Saved by the Bell and is only called "Rum Room". This is more akin to Kluster mixed with a little bit of American outsider weirdness. Most of the song is pulsing rotating drum beat up front with various keys and toy instruments rattling throughout, and way in the back are barley audible sounds of one of the members whispering into what sounds like a large can. But as with their sense of change with soft will come loud and at the end of "Rum Room" marks some of the craziest sounds I think even Wolf Eyes has ever heard.

Good luck on finding this one, my copy is numbered 7/50 and I don't think it is even remotely possible they would repress it unless you get a hold of the guys that reissued that Better Beatles record. If by chance you spot this pick it up for the sheer novelty alone.

Soft Drink! Hard Drink!

Pepsi has always seemed like the jealous cousin of Coke that would stab him at a family reunion over the superior taste of whiskey and Coke as opposed to the overly sweet aftertaste of whiskey and Pepsi. Plus when you order that at a bar who says whiskey and Pepsi? It just sounds wrong.